Self Care VS. Self Sabotage

Health & Wellness Retreats
Nutritionist and Wellness Coach

Self-Sabotage vs Self Nurture

Self-care would have to be the number one most important thing to do for ourselves & our health. It is the number one piece of advice me and most other healthcare practitioners would advise people to do, foster self-care, MIND YOURSELF.

But I want to talk more about the difference between self-care and self-sabotage and how to recognise when we could be sabotaging ourselves versus nurturing ourselves. It can be a fine line and a tough line to see as we can believe that we are nurturing ourselves but we are actually in the long run sabotaging ourselves. Good examples of this could be having a long term goal of weight loss (self-care – healthier physical body and most likely happier in self) and continuing to ‘nurture’ yourself after a hard day’s work with wine, chocolate or cheese and biscuits. Or, wanting to increase fitness levels (self-care – taking care of long term health through healthier body & mind) but continuing to stay in bed in the mornings when you had scheduled exercise. Having a wine or piece of chocolate can be totally helpful and nurturing SOMETIMES, or having a good old sleep in is TOTALLY necessary at times as well, it’s about finding the balance between nurturing yourself in the moment and keeping in mind your long term goal. If I want to increase my fitness levels I WILL need to exercise, that’s a reality. And exercise is good for me so I am taking care of myself by exercising. So, when I wake up in the morning and I’m feeling super tired from a bad night’s sleep and it’s so cold outside and my bed is so nice and warm, I have to ask myself “WHAT IS MY NUMBER ONE NEED RIGHT NOW”? “Which activity is going to make me feel the best in the long run”? Is it staying in bed and getting some extra sleep so I can be happier throughout the day and function clearer or is it getting out of bed and exercising which will take me a step closer to my long term goal and I will most likely feel energised from the exercise? If staying in bed is truly what you need in that moment (which it totally can be) just recommit to exercising the next day, no need to beat yourself up over it.

When we find ourselves sabotaging our efforts to achieve a long term goal it could be to do with a part of ourselves being unsure about the reality of achieving our goal. For example, I want a thriving business; having a thriving business in reality means I will be busier and have less time for certain things. I have had to address the part of me that is concerned about not having enough time, and the fear around being too busy to move forward with my goal and stop sabotaging it by doing no work. Sometimes this could be slightly out of our awareness and will require some thought and checking in with yourself and your goal. A common one with weight loss can be to do with a subconscious belief about our family or friends not liking us thinner or ‘how will my friend feel if I am smaller and she is still larger’ or ‘I won’t be able to maintain the results’ or ‘I don’t believe I can sustain this lifestyle’ and the list goes on.

If we have long term goals they require daily small steps to attain them and daily choices. When the goal can seem far away we can lose sight and feel uninspired so it is really important to make sure the goal FEELS good. If you are finding it way too hard to get out of bed earlier to exercise assess how the end goal feels, assess if it’s possible to exercise at other times that may be easier and assess if you really want to achieve better health and fitness and what thought patterns are getting in your way. It may be as simple as a change of mindset from ‘I want to stay in my bed as its warm, cosy and I’m tired’, to’ I’m choosing to get up and exercise today as it moves me closer to my end goal and will make me feel good, and I can sleep in tomorrow’. Recognising the difference between self-sabotage and self-care is an essential if you are finding you just can’t seem to kick into action. Check in with yourself to see what you REALLY need, some reassessment may actually be what are needed.

I draw on my transpersonal coaching skills to specifically look at individual behaviours, lifestyle, your emotions & any specific goals you want to achieve. If you would like to book in for a coaching session please click here http://cassandraparrish.com.au/online-bookings-2.

Cassandra x

Cassandra Parrish Nutritionist

Food, Friend or Foe?

Food Support Vs Problem??

We all need support; we need support in many different ways and from many different people and things. The reality is we don’t always get the support we need. This happens for many different reasons, we may not be able to ask for it, we may not know what support we need, and we may not have it physically available to us.

Support is different things for different people. To some it may mean help around the house or with their children, to others it may be their friend network that offer emotional support, it may be paid support via helping professionals and to some it may be exercise or food. Yes, I just said food. That may sound crazy but the reality is we are emotional beings and those emotions are entwined with our food choices. It’s what’s known as emotional eating. “Emotional eating”, I feel, gets a pretty bad wrap and most people associate it with negativity and it doesn’t always need to be. Food can be used as a support when the emotional eating that occurs is making us feel good/better and when the food is not being used to disguise or numb what is really going on. We celebrate with food and we console with food, we can have happy childhood memories brought back to life through food and have many amazing celebrations that include family and food.

Many people that come to see me are surprised when I don’t ask them to stop eating particular foods or ask them to stop particular habits that they deem “unhealthy” straight away. I can recognise when food is being used as support, I do it all the time myself and when people are struggling in life I feel it is ok to use it UNTIL we can introduce some alternatives. What is important is to recognise how food makes you FEEL and how it may be SUPPORTING or NUMBING you . I ask clients to look at what areas in their life they have support and where it may be able to be improved? If people don’t have a lot of physical support in their life through other people I don’t think it is a good idea to take away the other things they are using as support such as food straight away without alternatives being developed. That could leave them with little or no support.

When we can recognise what support looks like to us and how we need it, we can change the way we support ourselves. When food becomes our only support or our only emotional outlet, that is when it can turn from support to a numbing problem. Only you can work out on an individual level when food is no longer serving as a support and causing more of a problem. Recognising how you need to be supported and accessing that support is an essential part of overall wellbeing, however it looks for you.

I draw on my transpersonal coaching skills to specifically look at individual behaviours, lifestyle, your emotions & any specific goals you want to achieve. If you would like to book in for a coaching session please make a booking here http://cassandraparrish.com.au/online-bookings-2.

Cassandra x

Cassandra Parrish Nutritionist

I’m a Pagan Of The Good Time

I love the Hozier song Take Me to Church, there is a line in this song that says “I’m a Pagan of the good time”. When I heard it, I thought, ME TOO! I am definitely a Pagan of the good time! Yep, I love a good party and celebration. I wanted to be a singer when I was younger and I swear my inner rock star regularly comes out! I will be the one that wants to stay out late and keep going at the end of the night and the one that dances too much at the party. Have you seen that video going around the internet of the girl in a red dress at a wedding dancing crazy? Well, that is totally me! The dichotomy I have with my rock star self is that, as you would know,IMG_4337 I am also a professional Nutritionist! These two parts of me don’t always see eye to eye on life and what is best for me. My rock star meets my Green Smoothie Goddess and says BORING! My parents loved a good party or get together too, I was raised on them so I guess it is in my DNA.

So, I make it my life’s work to bring these two aspects of myself into some sort of alignment and balance, and then I try to teach that to my patients. What I learn, they learn. I am not the Nutritionist to see if you are looking for perfection. No, that doesn’t work for me and I prefer to be honest with people and real about who I am. I drink some wine, eat chocolate and sometimes even chips and pasta (wowsers, am I going to Nutritionist hell?)! But ALL the time I add extra vegetables, drink green smoothies and juices, fast and try to balance it all out. And if I notice my health is altering or symptoms are popping up that are out of the ordinary I address these through diet, supplementation and other healing modalities. Does my rock star self get in the way of me knowing how to heal your gut, enhance your immune system, help your anxiety, identify nutritional deficiencies or help with your fatigue? Hell no!

So if you are looking for a way to improve your health and wellness from someone who gets the pull to enjoy life! I’m for you! I focus on progress not perfection.

After the Easter weekend I totally need to rein things in as it got a little too crazy up in here! So I am fasting and detoxing and shaming my rock star self and feeling like I filled my cup and completely happy at the same time! Why over joyed with happiness? Because I had fun with my family and that is the best thing for me! What I have realised so far in my quest for balance and whole hearted living is if I don’t let my party self out to play she will roar out with a vengeance. And that’s when shit gets a little crazy. For me, this looks like too much mundane living, doing too much mothering and wifing and not enough for me and not having enough fun! If I include having fun as a priority, like dancing, going to the beach, going out to dinner with friends & being a little crazy in my every day, I can see things stay within balance. We all need to be real and human however that looks for us, some people are the masters of balance and others are learning and in the end it’s all fucking good!

Love Cassandra x

PS. Go on and dance like no one is watching and see how good it really feels! Increase your endorphins and gain more energy from fun and laughter.

Healthy food

Eating the Rainbow

 

Green – spinach, lettuce, kale, watercress, broccoli, rocket, zucchini, beans, kiwi fruit, avocado, nori seaweed, grapes, green capsicum.

Red and Pink – watermelon, strawberries, tomato, pomegranate, red capsicum, raspberries, chilies, red apples.

Yellow and Orange – carrots, yellow capsicum, sweet potato, oranges, mango, yellow nectarines

Blue and Purple – blueberries, blackberries, beetroot, purple carrots, purple potato, red cabbage, purple grapes, fresh figs, kidney beans, red rice.

Black – black rice, black beans

White – garlic, onion, potato, mushrooms, white beans

rainbow foods

Vegan

Nourishment Week Meal Plan

IMG_9437Nourishment Week Meal Plan

Meals are suggestions and can be eaten on any day in any order!

I have just come back from 12 days in New Zealand and I am lucky enough to be going away again in 2 weeks to Bali for another mini break. I don’t normally jet set this much but we are squeezing in an extra trip before my littlest turns 2 and we have to start paying full fare! So whilst I was in New Zealand I over indulged as I do on holidays, and I know I will do the same in Bali. I must say I love it! I love just chilling out with everything, my food included. I still exercise and move my body and I am conscious of what I am eating but I certainly relax with everything and consume a little too much wine, if I am honest :).

As I only have a week and a bit before I leave again I want to give my body a boost and pump it full of as many nutrients as I can over this next week. I want to give it a break from certain foods and over digesting and give it some extra love and fuel. I am calling this my Nourishment Week, I normally eat 80:20 sometimes 90:10 depending on what I am working on. And I don’t believe we need to be perfect all the time, however when I have overindulged I always try to give back to my body a little. Some people may call this a detox but I prefer to use the word Nourishment so it doesn’t feel like I am depriving myself of anything, I am doing the opposite, I am filling up my reserves.

Nourishment Week is about pumping up the nutrients and really giving your body some extra nutrition to help it function at its best! It will kick off Monday and end Sunday and my hope is that you get some inspiration and ideas of meals and “add in’s” that you can KEEP in your diet even when you stop Nourishment Week. If it is too much for you to do the whole week, no worries, maybe you will just follow a couple of the meals or keep the information for a later date. It is flexible and you work with what you can. You may also decide that you can do Nourishment week for longer than a week, maybe 2 or 3 and that is completely safe too.

For this one week (I would normally do between 1 & 4 weeks but I only have time for 1) I am not 80:20 I am 100%. I like to pump up the nutrients whenever I can but this week I am paying particularly strict attention to each meal to g

et the most out of it and adding in whatever I can to improve the nutrition. I am also removing a few things that I know my body could do with a break from. You may find you just get a couple of hints and tips out of it that you can then implement into your normal diet everyday to pump up the nutrients all the time and that would be amazing as we

Please Note/ The below meal plan is a suggested only for healthy individuals, it is not recommended for pregnant or lactating women, children or people in altered health states.

Nourishment Week Meal Plan

IMG_3460

Hints & Tips

  • Think colour and rainbow at most meals
  • Lunches are rainbow salad bowls with leftovers or green smoothies
  • Golden Milk, fermented vege & Kombucha should be consumed daily
  • If you can’t go without bread buy sprouted breads or Paleo bread
  • Drink plenty of water 2L minimum (herbal teas and warm water can be included)
  • Soup can be prepped on weekend and frozen or kept in the fridge
  • Roast an organic/free range chicken drumsticks or slow cook and use extra meat for lunch salads
  • I don’t recommend to much snacking try to stick with 3 meals per day if possible and stop eating by 7pm at the latest.
  • Drink plenty of varied herbal teas and enjoy a GOLDEN MILK every night for Nourishment!
  • Include plenty of nuts seeds, tahini & good quality cold pressed oils.
  • Nut butter is similar to peanut butter but made with other nuts such as almonds & cashews. ABC spread is sold at Coles and Woolies it contains Almonds, Brazil Nuts & Cashews.
  • On Saturday or Sunday ensure you have done the grocery shopping for first half of the week at least.

Weekend Prep if Short on Time

  • Prep roast vegetables – carrot, sweet potato, pumpkin, parsnip, beetroot or whatever you want to use. Roast in EVOO, coconut oil & sprinkle with herbs.
  • Bone Broth (see recipes) or buy a good quality one from health food shop, use this for soup bases.
  • Vegetarian Chili can be prepped on weekend and frozen just add extra vegetables such as zucchini noodles or greens to serve
  • Cut up all vegetables that can be stored pre-cut; e.g. broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, store in containers or freezer bags then can simple add to stir fries or salads etc..
  • Google Mason Jar salads and see if these are an option for you.
  • Cook soaked chickpeas and beans for first few days, they will last 2-3days cooked in the fridge

 

Recipes and Shopping List coming! x

 

Courage & Vulnerability

IMG_9038I am the biggest fan of Dr Brene’ Brown, her books and work are my ethos and my long term dream is to qualify as a coach in her work (I am working on it!). Dr Brown is a researcher of shame and vulnerability and she has written 3 books (google her if you want more information). One of her biggest messages to the world is that vulnerability is courageous and leads us to connection. So in the spirit of vulnerability and courage I will share a story with you;

I occasionally get floored by a feeling of immense vulnerability, it may be similar to anxiety but I don’t fully know as I have never had an anxiety attack as such so don’t like to label it as that. It feels like butterflies in my stomach and that I’m walking around with my heart on the outside of my body and people could poke it. When this feeling happens I feel unsafe and like a child in an adult’s body.
I probably have always had this feeling on and off my whole life, coming and going in various capacities. It rears up particularly when I am living outside of my comfort zone and putting myself out there in the world more often, (Dr Brown refers to it as “living in the arena”) this is mostly with my work. Since I have made the decision to get back on the horse and ride on into the arena of life and start living my dreams professionally this feeling has been popping up more often. As it is an unsafe kind of feeling I know it also started to appear more often after both my parents passed away as they were my safety net in the world. When I used to fall into this feeling of being a child and vulnerable I could still be parented by my parents, so since they have left this earth I have had to learn to address this myself. If there was any gift in both my parents passing away (it’s very hard to find a gift in both your parents passing away from cancer) it was that I had to learn to have my own back and be my own parent, I could no longer run to the familiar safety of them and in this I learnt a strength I would not have otherwise known, I would have preferred to learn that lesson in another way but that’s not how my life turned out.

Anyway, when this feeling pops up I know exercise helps, ensuring I am taking my supplements & eating healthy food helps (as there is always a biochemical link) and leaning into my family and  very close friends helps, it also helps to be very careful about who I expose myself to when I am feeling like this. However, recently when this familiar vulnerability came up and seeming to last a few days I decided to surrendered to it, I had a ‘me day’ and lay on the couch. I tuned out of the world to tune into myself! I just sat with the feeling and accepted that I need to learn how to manage this so I can continue to live in the arena.  After a few hours it had shifted and by the next day I was ready to face the world again. I had to feel the feeling; I had to dive into it, allow it and let it have a voice so I could feel functional again and move forward. That is very new for me and very rare in our society to sit and just be without trying to change it.

In our fast paced world we are being steered away from feeling our feelings, encouraged to strategize them out, rise above them and not to show them in our Facebook perfect lives. Where does connection lie in that? Where connection lye with ourselves in that world and if we cannot connect with ourselves it can be hard to connect properly with others.  What we resist persists, so I am encouraging people to feel their feelings, all of them, even when it’s unpleasant. They will change and you will change and if you don’t they will only get stuffed on down waiting to rear up at a later date in a more dramatic way.

I know it won’t be the last time I feel this feeling of immense vulnerability/anxiety but next time I will know that perhaps I need to surrender and take some time out from the world and recharge. My hope is that we can all live “in The Arena” and all learn to feel what we need to feel and learn what we need to learn.

If you have any concerns about your health or want some support please contact me.

Cassandra x

Salad

5 Easy to Implement Health Tips

  • Make your health a priority in your life

  • Drink more water (filtered if possible) – minimum 2 litres per day

  • Eat more fruit and vegetables – fruit minimum 2 per day and try to eat vegetables with lunch and dinner

  • Increase awareness of Posture & “Move more” – take the stairs!

  • Be thankful or have gratitude for something everyday

1.    Make health a priority

“What’s the point of working as hard as you do to grow your business if you can’t reap the benefits of a quality lifestyle in the future”. It’s important to prioritise & care for yourself so you have enough energy and vitality to enjoy life.

2.    Drink more water

A lot of minor health complaints can be alleviated from simply drinking more water. Majority of the population are dehydrated. Coffee and Tea is not included- caffeine actually dehydrates.

3.    Eat more Fruit and Vegetables

Eat as close to nature as possible and eating more fruit and vegetables will ensure you are receiving adequate amounts of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals as well as the innate life force within these foods. Without these essential nutrients the body ages & breaks down faster!

4.    Awareness of Posture & Move more

Poor posture puts stress on the body & nervous system & increases the risk of degenerative arthritis & poor health. Make the conscious choice to move more, take the stairs & get up out of your chair more throughout the day.

5.    Have gratitude DAILY

When we are grateful or giving thanks for things in our life, no matter how small, we are in a happier/ more positive frame of mind. It is amazing how much more motivated and full of energy we can be when we are in this state of mind. Say thank you for as many things as you can think of every day & observe your improved emotional wellbeing!