Exercising Your No Muscle
Recently in my life I have been looking at my ability to say no to others. I always attract clients that are working on or needing to work on similar stuff. I learn through my clients, that old saying the teacher teaches what they need to learn is strong in clinical practise! I have had to have this discussion with nearly all my clients recently, particularly women.
How are you at saying no to others? Saying no can be hard as we often have to let people down and dealing with their feelings can be uncomfortable. Here is the thing, if you are constantly doing everything for everyone else it often comes at a cost to you. This obviously isn’t the case in all situations but what I have seen lately are people doing everything for everyone else and not much for themselves because they don’t have anything left in their tank.
I think that saying no is like a muscle that we need to exercise, we can start practising say No to easier things, things that will not cause as much discomfort and work our way up to the tougher situations like saying no to loved ones or friends. Similar to how we work out at the gym or during exercise, it’s advised to start out more gentle and work up to strenuous exercises, when we go too hard to fast we cause injuries. If we start saying No to family members who are used to us doing everything for them, their unpleasant response could make us feel so bad that we put it in the too hard basket and don’t say no anymore.
Settings boundaries around your time and where you are placing your energy is the ultimate form of self-care & self-love. I know for me when I don’t overschedule my life, my family (who are the most important to me) get the best of me, rather than my sloppy, agitated, tired left overs. Saying No will make other people uncomfortable because they aren’t getting what they want and they are entitled to feel what they are feeling; the key is not taking their emotional response personally.
If you have an empty tank, your energy is low and you have no time, it may be time to start saying No a little more. Start with easier things like instead of hosting a dinner party opt instead to go out so you aren’t left with the work, say no to babysitting extra kids or catching up for coffee with that old friend. Whatever it may be in your life saying no will create more space and time for you which is the most important thing in your world!
If you have any concerns about your health, just want to feel fabulous or want some support please contact me .